Jealousy: Your Secret Weapon To Success

Michelle Thole Coaching And Development

The Fast Lane To Your Success

So today we are going to dive into the Oscar-winning performance that is jealousy. Bleugh!! It's such an unwanted emotion, isn't it? Although have you ever thought it might be a crucial learning tool when figuring out what to do next? You see it's in these moments of jealousy that the real truth of all desires, wants, and dreams are unveiled.

So what is jealousy?

Definition of JEALOUS

adjective: jealous

  1. feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.

  2. feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else.

  3. fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions.

You know that moment when jealousy strikes? You're congratulating your colleague (through gritted teeth) on the promotion that you both went for or looking at your friend's holiday snaps in the Maldives, and magically wanting to jump into the photo, to swim in the warm turquoise ocean. How about when you are talking finances with a girlfriend over lunch and she flippantly mentions her sizable savings account, whilst you haven't even gotten started? It's at these points in your life you'll want to ask yourself the most important question,

"What is it about this situation that makes me feel jealous?

So let's break it down and go deeper into the rabbit hole:

The Colleague and The Promotion


The jealousy of another colleague's success is guiding you to what you really want - you want that job role! As well as highlighting your ambition and willingness to progress in your career, jealousy is also showing that you're ready to take life to the next level. This willingness could manifest in actions that could help you find a new way to add value to your current position. Even educate yourself further or start looking for your desired role elsewhere.

The Friend and The Holiday Pics

The jealousy of your friend's holiday snaps is indicating the need for a break away from your responsibilities and to add more freedom to your life. Start small (especially if the budget/responsibilities don't allow). Firstly by adding some 'Me-Time' slots into the diary. Simply, having a coffee whilst reading your favourite magazine, doing some breathing exercises, listening to a meditation tape or actually taking a lunch break and going for a walk. If it is time for a holiday, ignite your excitement by visiting a travel agent, read travel blogs and internet shop your dream destinations. Get planning and take action.

The Girlfriend and The Savings

The jealousy here is specifically pointing to your need for readiness and preparation. You may have thought that the 'yolo' ('You Only Live Once' - for all those who are not in the loop) mantra has been serving you perfectly, however, it's at this point your secret weapon ( *cough* jealousy) is pointing you in a different direction. It's time to ask your friend for advice on how she did it or get expert financial advice. If in debt, you could sort that out first and then get going on building a future savings plan to be proud of. 

Why is jealousy so important to my success?

Jealousy is the secret weapon in raising your standards. It holds up the mirror to your current life choices and shows you another way. It's an emotion that sparks an action - to get prepared, motivated, educated, connected, healthy, find love, inspired.......It brings us an amazing opportunity for growth and development. However, there is a downside. As with all things when unconsciously felt, the message can get lost and misinterpret. We can become envious instead of curious, ('Why can't I have that life?') have a pity party instead of being motivated ('She has better connections than me') or start to feel depressed instead of taking action and implementing the changes that are needed. So whenever you feel jealous, ask the question,

'What is it about this situation that makes me feel jealous?'

.....and let your curiosity run wild with possibilities to change your jealous emotion into tangible steps to your success. Don't take my word for it. Give it a go and let me know how you get on. Oh, and remember, getting your life from where it is, to where you want it to be, doesn't have to include gigantic leaps of faith into the unknown. It can be as easy as having a five minute breather and taking the weight off.

Thanks for reading and have a marvellous week, my friend,

Lots of love,



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